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noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 21:35:00 +0000

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Cool Quotes 21-01-10

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 18:21:00 +0000

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.

Voltaire

My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet.

Bill Kelly

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

Garrison Keillor

Animated Signatures - Animated Names

Cool Quotes 13-12-09

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 13:30:00 +0000

"Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit."

R.E. Shay

"Reality is that stuff which, no matter what you believe, just won't go away."

David Paktor

"Marriage is like a violin. After all the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached."

Renee from Napa

Herbal Concentrate

Cool Quotes 16-10-09

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:31:00 +0000

"Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!"

Pericles (430 B.C.)

"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."

Ingrid Bergman

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

Animated Signatures - Animated Names

Cool Quotes 05-09-09

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 02:37:00 +0000

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Henny Youngman

Proverbs

Cool Quotes 19/07/2009

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 04:59:00 +0000

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

Mark Twain

It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

Matt Barry

Mother to adult daughter: "Men are only after one thing -- the TV remote.

Bunny Hoest & John Reiner

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Cool Quotes 02-06-09

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 15:35:00 +0000

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Even a secret agent can't lie to a Jewish mother.

Peter Malkin

I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. 'Please, I'll only put it in for a minute.' What am I, a microwave?

Beverly Mickins

Tang Kuei

Cool Quotes 4/8/09

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 02:22:00 +0000

Sometimes the best way to convince someone he is wrong is to let him have his way.

Red O'Donnell

A hard man is good to find.

Mae West

To do each day two things one dislikes is a precept I have followed scrupulously: every day I have got up and have gone to bed.

W. Somerset Maugham

Tips & Tricks - Home

Cool Quotes 15-02-09

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 20:44:00 +0000

There is no distinctly Native American criminal class...save Congress.

Mark Twain

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

Drew Carey

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.

Jeff Foxworthy

Garfield

Cool Quotes 21-12-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 14:31:00 +0000

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?

Benny Hill

Let me tell you one thing I have against Moses. He took us forty years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil.

Golda Meir

When a man and woman are trying to have sex, he will often climax before she is ready. Sometimes he will climax before she is, technically, in the room.

Dave Barry

Low Fat Recipes

Cool Quotes 14-12-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 14:26:00 +0000

She was known as the virgin queen... she was always on the verge.

Gerald F Lieberman

The time is at hand when the wearing of a prayer shawl and a skullcap will not bar a man from the White House...... unless, of course, the man is Jewish.

Jules Farber

His mind is like a steel trap -- full of mice

Foghorn Leghorn

Free Virus Scann

Cool Quotes 07-12-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 14:22:00 +0000

You know that look women get when they want sex? . . .Me neither.

Drew Carey

A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness."

George W. Bush. (He meant to say "antidotes.")

Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.

Sam Goldwyn

Free Recipes

Cool Quotes 30-11-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 14:19:00 +0000

Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. 'Please, I'll only put it in for a minute.' What am I, a microwave?

Beverly Mickins

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

George Burns

Crazy Pix

Cool Quotes 23-11-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 14:13:00 +0000

It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one

Phil White

Our country has come a long way: first we had George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie. Then we had Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the truth... And now we have Al Gore, who can't tell the difference.

Jay Leno

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life ........unless I buy something.

Jackie Mason

Klipfiti: Humor & Irony

Cool Quotes 16-11-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 14:42:00 +0000

I've taken up smoking. My doctor says I'm not getting enough tar in my diet.

Steve Martin

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

Lily Tomlin

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Stephen Wright

Quotes for the Soul

Cool Quotes 09-11-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 14:38:00 +0000

Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

H. L. Mencken

I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter.

Drew Carey

Male sexual response is far brisker and more automatic. It is triggered easily by things - like putting a quarter in a vending machine.

Dr. Alex Comfort

Graphic Humor

Cool Quotes 02-11-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 14:35:00 +0000

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

Sam Kinison

The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do.

Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Benjamin Franklin

Recipes

Cool Quotes 26-10-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 14:32:00 +0000

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Oscar Wilde

People who live in glass houses have to answer the bell.

Bruce Patterson

Worst Month of the Year: February. February has only 28 days in it, which means that if you rent an apartment, you are paying for three full days you don't get. Try to avoid Februarys whenever possible.

Steve Rubenstein

Graphic Humor

Cool Quotes 19-10-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 14:28:00 +0000

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side .

Stuart Turner

Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours.

Frank Moore Colby

To attract men I wear a perfume called, 'New Car Interior.'

Rita Rudner

Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks

Cool Quotes 12-10-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 14:25:00 +0000

What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?

Marilyn Pittman

What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind.

Thomas Hewitt Key, 1799-1875

What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.

Dan Quayle

Graphic Humor

Cool Quotes 05-10-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 15:22:00 +0000

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.

David Daye

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Billy Crystal

I must be the luckiest man in the world. Not only am I bisexual, I am also Welsh.

John Osborne

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Cool Quotes 28-09-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 04:41:00 +0000

I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

Unknown

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

Sir Winston Churchill

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between dog and a man.

Mark Twain

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Cool Quotes 21-09-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 04:40:00 +0000

A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.

Anonymous

There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes- Benz 380SL convertible.

P.J. O'Rourke

The important thing in acting is to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. If I have to laugh, I think of my sex life.

Glenda Jackson

Proverbs

Cool Quotes 14-09-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 04:36:00 +0000

It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago...

Dan Quayle

Laziness is nothing more than resting before you get tired.

Jules Renard

I've learned not to put things in my mouth that are bad for me.

Monica Lewinsky on CNN's "Larry King Live", discussing her miraculous Jenny Craig weight-loss

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Cool Quotes 07-09-08

noreply@blogger.com (Klip7) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 04:32:00 +0000

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

Frank Zappa

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

Tim Allen

Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in the afternoon.

Jilly Cooper, How to Survive from Nine to Five

Low Fat Recipes