Written by cool quotes on March 4th, 2011 in Cool Quotes.
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“Man replying to broker’s sales call: ‘I’ll keep you in mind in case I’m ever crazy enough to entrust all my savings to a stranger on the phone’”
“Automatic simply means that you can’t repair it yourself”
“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve immortality through not dying”
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Written by cool quotes on February 1st, 2011 in Cool Quotes.
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“Let me tell you one thing I have against Moses. He took us forty years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil”
“I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating. In fourteen days, I lost exactly two weeks”
“Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse of reason with unreason”
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Written by cool quotes on December 19th, 2010 in Cool Quotes.
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“We have women in the military, but they don’t put us in the front lines. They don’t know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, ‘You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms!’”
“The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.”
“Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule”
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Written by cool quotes on October 7th, 2010 in Cool Quotes.
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“It is a part of the function of “law” to give recognition to ideas representing the exact opposite of established conduct. Most of the complications arise from the necessity of pretending to do one thing, while actually doing another”
“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it’s pretty damned good”
“Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give”
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Written by cool quotes on August 12th, 2010 in Cool Quotes.
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“If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.”
“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.”
“Half of all marriages end in divorce. That’s not as bad as it sounds. The other half end in death.”
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Written by cool quotes on May 6th, 2010 in Cool Quotes.
“I’ve got gay supporters. I don’t ask their sexual orientation though.”
“If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.”
“I met a lot of people in Europe. I even encountered myself.”
Written by cool quotes on April 25th, 2010 in Cool Quotes.
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Lawyers spend a great deal of time shoveling smoke.
What do I know about sex? I’m a married man.
Why do they build walls around cemeteries? It’s silly beyond a doubt. The people outside don’t want to get in and the people inside can’t get out!!!
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