Cool Quotes 02-06-09

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

• Zsa Zsa Gabor

Even a secret agent can't lie to a Jewish mother.

• Peter Malkin

I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. 'Please, I'll only put it in for a minute.' What am I, a microwave?

• Beverly Mickins

Tang Kuei

Cool Quotes 4/8/09

Sometimes the best way to convince someone he is wrong is to let him have his way.

• Red O'Donnell

A hard man is good to find.

• Mae West

To do each day two things one dislikes is a precept I have followed scrupulously: every day I have got up and have gone to bed.

• W. Somerset Maugham

Tips & Tricks - Home

Cool Quotes 15-02-09

There is no distinctly Native American criminal class...save Congress.

• Mark Twain

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

• Drew Carey

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.

• Jeff Foxworthy

Garfield

Cool Quotes 21-12-08

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?

• Benny Hill

Let me tell you one thing I have against Moses. He took us forty years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil.

• Golda Meir

When a man and woman are trying to have sex, he will often climax before she is ready. Sometimes he will climax before she is, technically, in the room.

• Dave Barry

Low Fat Recipes

Cool Quotes 14-12-08

She was known as the virgin queen... she was always on the verge.

• Gerald F Lieberman

The time is at hand when the wearing of a prayer shawl and a skullcap will not bar a man from the White House...... unless, of course, the man is Jewish.

• Jules Farber

His mind is like a steel trap -- full of mice

• Foghorn Leghorn

Free Virus Scann

Cool Quotes 07-12-08

You know that look women get when they want sex? . . .Me neither.

• Drew Carey

A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness."

• George W. Bush. (He meant to say "antidotes.")

Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.

• Sam Goldwyn

Free Recipes

Cool Quotes 30-11-08

Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

• Zsa Zsa Gabor

I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. 'Please, I'll only put it in for a minute.' What am I, a microwave?

• Beverly Mickins

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

• George Burns

Crazy Pix

Cool Quotes 23-11-08

It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one

• Phil White

Our country has come a long way: first we had George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie. Then we had Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the truth... And now we have Al Gore, who can't tell the difference.

• Jay Leno

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life ........unless I buy something.

• Jackie Mason

Klipfiti: Humor & Irony